US Air Force Testing New Kevlar ...ummm... Shorts

The Word Unheard out of Langley, Virginia is that the United States Air Force is testing the US Military's newest implementation of personnel body armor... Kevlar shorts ...called Kevlar Tactical Outer Protective Shorts. The product of Marine Corps battlefield feedback is bound to allow stateside wives to rest a little easier.

...The shorts minimize fragment damage from the waistline to the knees and provide vital protection to the femoral artery, which passes close to the outer surface of the upper thighs carrying blood from the hip to the heart, officials said.

The 8-pound shorts can be donned in about 90 seconds. They are equipped with load-bearing suspenders for comfort, pockets for items like bullets and radios, and quick release latches which assist with the removal of the shorts in seconds, officials said...


Two observations:

1. Say what you must about life threatening injuries, but the Marines who will be wearing these Battlefield Bermudas aren't as concerned with the femoral artery as they are with their...uhhh...family assets.

2. "Load-bearing suspenders" and "comfort" under no circumstances belong in the same sentence...or paragraph.


That aside, the new body armor is the result of battlefield demand:

A contractor designed the shorts for the U.S. Marine Corps Warfighting Laboratory at Quantico, Va., after deployed Marines asked for additional protection in the lower torso area.

"Based on wound data reports and feedback from the operating forces, the Marine Corps Warfighting Lab determined that Marines conducting mounted patrols or traveling on convoys, specifically Humvee turret gunners, required increased protection to the lower extremities from improvised explosive device attacks," said Marine Lt. Deborah Packard of the Warfighting Lab.